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The Battle of the Spreadable Fruit




The battle that started it all.

I’ve already declared a winner to this one months ago, via an online middleman-manned debate with one of Joey’s friends I’ve never met.

Long story short, jam thinks it’s some kind of cool kid because it hangs out with fruit. But no one wants jam bringing fruit to the toast party. Look at all that gunk. That is the exact opposite of “spreadable,” the whole purpose of “spreadable fruit,” believe it or not. Jelly’s only goal is to make your life easier and more delicious. Sometimes it even sidles up to peanut butter just to save you that extra knife-cleaning swipe. Jelly cares about you; jam cares about getting stuck in your teeth and giving you gingivitis.

Jelly, for the win.