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The Battle of the Virtual Chefs

Cooking Mama


Peter Pepper

The weapons: dueling ladles, tips laced with poison.

This could be close. Mama has a grand arsenal of recipes and cooking methods at her disposal, and is admittedly terrifying when her eyes turn to “I’m going to broil your face and eat it for supper” flames. But Peter Pepper has waged war on post-apocalyptic, radioactive fried eggs and hot dogs, and lived to tell about it (and even open his own mutated ice cream shop).

Both “Mama” and “Pepper” are obviously going by pseudonyms, hiding their true purpose behind our nation’s greatest weakness: food. However, because Mama is so ingrained in our culture now, she can barely sneeze without it being noticed. Peter has fallen off the radar, the perfect time to make his strike.

Peter Pepper, for the conspiratorial win.